I want to stick my p in your. b.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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