Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
