It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
