And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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