I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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