yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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