Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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