you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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