Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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