Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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