The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
