I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
