Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize