We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
