Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
