well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
