Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize