Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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