Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize