You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
