Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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