he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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