there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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