I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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