if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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