I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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