bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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