I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
