Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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