I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
