He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this will be a night to untag.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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