bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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