I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
