i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
