That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
