Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize