Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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