WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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