i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
