I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
