i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
