Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
