Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
