You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
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