It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
