yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
