I'm gonna have a badass scar
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I AM VODKA MAN
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
