If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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