That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
