I wanna bring you to show and tell
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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