laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize