I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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