Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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