if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
