Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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