Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
