I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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