This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
