There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize