He is an equal opportunity slut.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
