After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
