Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
