We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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