if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
