we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
