It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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