he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
