o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
