so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
