I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
