the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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