I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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