Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
