Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
