She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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