haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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