I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I need moral support for this bender
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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