i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dignity is for republicans.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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