i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
